martes, 6 de enero de 2015

THE TRAVESTY OF OTHELLO

Here is a parody of my favourite Shakespearean drama that I once wrote by hand, back in my mid-teens. I had the purpose of sharing it with all of you readers someday, and here it is!
For more information, I have updated this rewriting with more references than the original handwritten play had,

THE TRAVESTY OF OTHELLO
A MOOR THAN BLOODY DRAMA IN "FOOR" ACTS 
(PLUS ONE, THAT MAKES FIVE ACTS)

WRITTEN BY
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE - original script
SANDRA E. DERMARK - summary
SANDRA E. DERMARK - adaptation (as well)
DRACO MALFOY FANLISTING - support
LUNA LOVEGOOD FANLISTING - support (as well)
"THE RAGE OF CASTAMERE" LANNISTER FANGROUP - support (even more)
NORDENS ARK - moose
OYSHO - pyjamas
NËSC@FÉ - coffee

SPONSORED BY
RED COW, gives you wings.
HAINEKEN.
GENERAL ELECTROCUTION.
"THE RAGE OF CASTAMERE" LANNISTER FANGROUP.
KÁRPÁTIA.

STARRING (DRAMATIS PERSONAE)
OTHELLO - tall dark general.
CASSIO - honest lieutenant.
IAGO - not so honest ensign.
DESDEMONA - Othello's beloved lady wife.
EMILIA - Desdemona's maidservant, married to Iago.

The story takes place in an outpost somewhere on Northern Cyprus, in the late sixteenth or early seventeenth century.

ANNOTATION:
"Lieutenant" should always be pronounced "leftenant" in this play.


UP WITH THE CURTAIN!


ACT ONE

SCENE 1: IN THE COURTYARD. OTHELLO, IAGO, CASSIO. BACKGROUND MUSIC: BLACKADDER THEME SONG
OTHELLO: And thus, I promote hopeful young Cassio to the rank of Lieutenant... (He gives Cassio a fine sword and a nice plumed hat).
IAGO (to himself): I have fought by his side in countless battles, on the frontline itself, risking life and limb by his side, and yet... (Pause.) That frilly little upstart... that stripling of this new kind of "educated officers", who knows as much of tactics as a novice in a nunnery... has just usurped the rank which is mine by right! He should rather die! Er... Why not? (He gives the audience a mean death glare)
MUSIC: TOCCATA AND FUGUE IN D MINOR BY J.S. BACH.
In the good old days, privates or non-coms became officers through good honest fighting. Nowadays an officer, for some reason, needs an education... and scarred veterans are left in the shade. Like... completely overlooked. Given non-com ranks in spite of their prowess... Yet I don't think anyone will see it coming... for I will poison their minds to break their ties, and then, once they are parted, strike them one by one in the back! If I were Othello or Cassio, I never would accept the Iago kind of fellow by my side... So I don't wear my heart upon my sleeve... The fun in the game is the fact that the cards are hidden. (Pause.) I am not what I am!

SCENE 2: AT THE SHUT CHAPEL DOOR, IAGO ON HIS OWN.
DESDEMONA (off-stage, from inside the chapel): I do.
OTHELLO (off-stage, from inside the chapel): I do.
(Wedding bells peal, the refrain of ABBA's "I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do!" can be heard)
IAGO: I have up my sleeve a treacherous and cunning plan that abso-freaking-lutely cannot fail. When the new lieutenant is on guard duty, I'll ensure that he becomes unworthy of his rank! (cue baritone evil laugh) MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(The Wedding March plays in the background.)


ACT TWO

SCENE 1: EVENING IN THE COURTYARD: OTHELLO, DESDEMONA, AND CASSIO.
OTHELLO (To the audience, loudly and confidently): Rejoice! The war is over! The enemy is no more! These are now days of victory and peace! (To Cassio) Lieutenant, you shall be on guard duty tonight.
CASSIO (saluting): Yes, sir! I will do my best!
(Othello takes Desdemona by the hand and both of them walk offstage holding hands, locking eyes, and cooing. Cassio stands at attention).
ENTER IAGO.
IAGO (approaching Cassio): Hey Lieutenant! So we got this kegger, and it must sure be dull to stand there all night long on your own. So I'd like to ask... voulez-vous come with us ce soir?
CASSIO: Sorry, Iago. I have orders to take. I ought, in fact, to stay sober on duty...
IAGO: If that's the... you're not a teetotaler, Lieutenant, am I right? Aww... It's only one shot...
CASSIO: Then... Just a sip, to quench my thirst, and to warm myself from within, won't be wrong! Let's see if my system can hold it!
ENTER THREE OR FOUR OFFICERS MORE, CARRYING SHOT GLASSES AND LIQUOR. IN THE BACKGROUND, "LIVET ÄR EN FEST" BY NATIONALTEATERN.
IAGO (pours each officer a shot glass, then one for himself): Here's to our general!
(They clink their glasses and drain them, Cassio puts his doubtfully to his lips)
CASSIO: All right, this one and no more! Down the hatch! (He drains his glass to the last drop, and Iago gives him a refill)
IAGO: Now I'd like to propose a song.
CASSIO: Hope it's a good one. A love song of the kind that makes me think of a beautiful lady...
IAGO (singing): Twas on the good ship Venus,
by Lord, you should have seen us!
The figurehead was a whore in bed,
and the mast a rampant penis...
Frigging in the rigging,
frigging in the rigging,
frigging in the rigging,
there was fuck all else to do! Skål! (He raises his glass, and so do all others, and they clink and drain their glasses. Including Cassio this time).
CASSIO (now cheerful and over-the-top): Iago! Couldn't you have chosen a less... vulgar song?
IAGO: Sorry, Lieutenant. I'm only a critic. Anyway, you're in charge. So if you would rather be pleased with some more... courteous lyrics, let's see what I can find! (Pause) A-ha! (getting on the table and pouring each officer a third drink, singing once more): The more we are together,
together, together,
the more we are together,
the merrier we get.
If I am merry, then you are merry.
If you are merry, then I am merry.
The more we are together,
the merrier we get! Skål! (He raises his glass, and so do all others, and they clink and drain their glasses. Including Cassio this time).
IAGO (to one of the other officers): Now we've got him, Roderigo!
CASSIO: I'm so excited!! I've never had a better time in my life!!
IAGO (still on the table, pouring each officer a fourth drink, then clearing his throat and singing once more): What do you do with a drunk lieutenant,
What do you do with a drunk lieutenant,
What do you do with a drunk lieutenant,
early in the morning?
Hey, hey, and up she rises!
Hey, hey, and up she rises!
Hey, hey, and up she rises,
early in the morning!
Put him in the guardroom till he’s sober,
Put him in the guardroom till he’s sober,
Put him in the guardroom till he’s sober,
early in the morning!
Hey, hey, and up she rises!
Hey, hey, and up she rises!
Hey, hey, and up she rises,
early in the morning! Skål! (He raises his glass, and so do all others, and they clink and drain their glasses, including Cassio).
CASSIO (still ecstatic, now with slurred speech, reaching his shot glass to Iago): This song was the best one so far! (Pause) Iago... why is the room reeling?
IAGO (sauntering off the table): A fifth one, Lieutenant?
CASSIO: If it gives more elation... (Iago pours him a fifth shot) 
IAGO (singing and raising his glass for the fifth time): If you think the grave's too deep and dire,
why not take a draught of liquid fire?
Then another, a third, make it four, make it five...
and you'll feel more alive! Skål!
The officers clink glasses for another time, and Cassio's fifth glass shares the fate of all the previous ones. Then, the lieutenant nearly falls head first on the table).
IAGO (helping Cassio to get up): Lieutenant...? Are you alright?
CASSIO (slurred): Of course, Iago... Tsk! Did you just nudge your commanding officer!!?? (He draws steel and starts to swish his sword all over the courtyard, staggering and eventually wounding Iago in the right arm. Background music: "Vltava", Smetana)
CASSIO: You twue bashtard!
IAGO: Lieutenant! Lefteeenant! Wait until the general sees this! (To the other officers) The lieutenant is berserk!! Please help me restrain him! (The other officers seize Cassio, who falls unconscious and drops his bloodstained sword).
ENTER GENERAL OTHELLO, FOLLOWED BY HIS DESDEMONA. BOTH ARE RUMPLED, STILL IN THEIR NIGHTCLOTHES, WITH MESSY HAIR. BACKGROUND MUSIC: SARKA, SMETANA
OTHELLO (stern): What on Earth is going on? Have we all turned Turks? Or Dornish? Or whatever...? Lieutenant Cassio, could you explain all this?
CASSIO (coming to, light-headed and confused): Eh...?
OTHELLO (stern): His blade is stained with blood, and he reeks like a drunkard... (Pause.) This is a warzone, and we have just reached a fragile peace that we thought never would come. Everyone within these walls is still on edge after the war, and this young officer was supposed to be on guard duty... (Pause.) Ensign Iago, my old friend and brother in arms, could you give an explanation?
IAGO: Let's see. The lieutenant here is a really good and reliable young fellow, if it weren't for his liquid courage issues. So I tried to stop him, but in vain. He got completely intoxicated, and then he went berserk. We tried to stop his rampage, and I'm proud to say we have succeeded. Anyway, nobody's perfect, not even the Pope is infallible, so why should it be a young lieutenant? Why should he not, like so many youngsters, drink himself out of reason and lose control of himself?
OTHELLO (stern, looking at Cassio): You've even startled my dear lady fair... I'm sorry, Cassio. Though I love you, you will never make a lieutenant. You're fired. (He takes Cassio's sword and his hat, and gives them to Iago).
EXIT OTHELLO. IAGO AND CASSIO SIT DOWN ON ADJACENT CHAIRS.
IAGO (sarcastic): Are you hurt... Lieutenant?
CASSIO (still with that hangover): Nyes...
IAGO (concerned): I see no physical injury, so it must be something deeper. (Touching the middle of Cassio's chest, where the heart is). This looks very serious, Lieutenant. (Shakes his head. Pause.) Tell me, honestly, what you feel. Where in there does it hurt you? Your career? Your reputation? (Pause.) Anyway, what is a career? What is a reputation? (Shrugging his shoulders.) Much ado about nothing!
CASSIO (still hungover, sarcastic, cleaning his blade with a damp cloth): Good advice from a ranker to an officer.
IAGO (cheerful): Anyway, Lieutenant, in my own humble opinion, young people should let down their hair every now and then. If something's off limits, that doesn't mean it's the end of times if you dare to try it. Lieutenant, we all have learned most the things we know through trial and error. (Pause.) Now try to remember what happened last evening. Anyway, how much liquor went under your belt? How strong was it? And why were you swishing your sword all over the place?
CASSIO (still depressed and hungover, cleaning his blade): If only I could remember! (Pause.) Iago, to tell you the truth, my recollections of last evening are rather hazy. So here are the few pieces of the puzzle I can put together. (Pause.) I have I don't know how many drinks, strong drinks, with other men in uniform. Then, I suddenly flare up, I don't know why, and we are chasing each other. And then, fighting each other. That other person, who must have been a he... I never saw his face, but his chest was flat as a table... brings me down on the floor, and then the lights go out... I must have shut my eyes... and then I wake up with a throbbing head, a heavy heart, and an irrational urge to throw up. His Lordship and Her Ladyship are standing before me. And you are there too, bleeding and in pain. But what shocks me the most is seeing my sword all bloodstained. Here, Iago. You wouldn't bother to have a traitor's blood on your bandage? Besides, your wounds will heal sooner than mine. (Having wiped his sword clean, he gives the cloth to Iago, who bandages his right arm with it.)
IAGO (as he bandages his right arm): Why, I don't care, Lieutenant! Still, I think it was a shame, and a great shame, to waste good steel on your own subordinates.
CASSIO (still depressed and hungover): It's more than a shame! Drunk? A drunken lieutenant? Reeling, faltering, staggering? One who draws steel against his own shadow? (Pause.) One naive enough to let in, through his parted lips, a usurper who claimed reason's throne? (Pause.) How strange! How foolish! Should not have overestimated how much I can hold! Every glass I drained contained a regiment for a coup d'état... for the successful coup of the usurper who claimed reason's throne!
IAGO (encouraging Cassio): Aww, Lieutenant! Now you've learned your lesson: drink less liquor next time and prove that you're responsible! Keep calm and carry on! If the general had you fired, I bet his spouse could have you reinstated.
CASSIO (embracing Iago): Thanks, Iago! See you when I've met her! (He waves Iago goodbye.)
EXIT CASSIO.
IAGO (to the audience): And this is only half the battle. The climax is up right now! Let's see. I have already ensnared two of them, and soon the third will be trapped as well... Now who dares to guess I play the villain on this stage?
THE SUN RISES.


ACT THREE

IN A FRENCH GARDEN. DESDEMONA AND CASSIO. BACKGROUND MUSIC: "EVERYTHING I DO, I DO IT FOR YOU."
DESDEMONA: Trust me, Lieutenant. Just have faith in me. I'll talk to him about you at the table, in bed, in the courtyard... even in the privy. (She chuckles and takes Cassio by the hand.) In the end, he'll be so annoyed that you will surely get your rank back.
CASSIO: I cannot be thankful enough. Eh... The general is coming! Remember the promise you made!
EXIT CASSIO, LOOKING OVER HIS SHOULDER. ENTER OTHELLO, FOLLOWED BY IAGO.
DESDEMONA (to her husband): I wish to intercede for the sake of Lieutenant Cassio. He's so sorry for what he's done!
OTHELLO: All right, perchance I was a little harsh with that punishment, but I will give him a second chance.
DESDEMONA: Darling, you are so kind! That's the best you've done since we married! (She kisses Othello.)
EXIT DESDEMONA, AS SHE DISTRACTEDLY LEAVES A HANDKERCHIEF ON THE FLOOR.
IAGO (whispering to Othello): As slippery as an eel.
OTHELLO: Excuse me?
IAGO: Really, it was nothing. Nothing in particular.
OTHELLO: A penny for your intrusive thoughts.
IAGO: I only wonder some things about Desdemona and Cassio. First things first. Was he acquainted with her, or her with him, before she was acquainted with you?
OTHELLO: Why, he introduced me to her!
IAGO: And... which distance do they keep in conversation?
OTHELLO: They're actually pretty close to each other. I assume because they've always been good friends.
IAGO: And... what's their star sign? I'd like to know the signs of both.
OTHELLO: Well, she's a Taurus and he's a Scorpio, but... why such a sudden interest? Aren't you actually trying to insinuate that my lady wife is having an affair with that trusted lieutenant? That they're more to each other than just good friends?
IAGO: Why, he's trustworthy. And so is she. Why on Earth would both of them ever dare to betray you?
OTHELLO (calmly): I doubt so. Consider young Cassio. He's seen the light after that fateful incident... Haven't you noticed how by-the-book he acts? And my beloved Desdemona... she dances the minuet, she sings like an angel, she plays the high harp, she speaks French and Latin as easily as you please. She could even tame wild bears, for she is bold enough to dare to do so! So I need proof of their guilt before I can believe.
IAGO: And beware of jealousy, my lord. It's a green-eyed monster...
OTHELLO: I'm not sure what to believe. I love my lady wife, and I believe in her faithfulness... but I also trust Iago, my honest comrade, always like a brother to me...
(Iago notices the handkerchief and picks it up.)
EXIT OTHELLO. ENTER EMILIA, WITH QUICK STEPS.
EMILIA: But who's there! And what about my lady's wedding gift? She's been looking for it all over the place. Goodness you've found it!
IAGO: Hear up, Milly. I've got plans. Impressive plans. No women allowed. I just love the strawberry pattern on this handkerchief. So I'd like to give it to Her Ladyship in person. No matter if you're her handmaid, which you are in fact.
EMILIA: All right, I'll be leaving right now. I'll tell my lady that you'll hand her what she has recently lost. Think of that! She'll be missing that handkerchief terribly. Now, Iago, I hope you don't do anything wrong with that strawberry embroidery...
IAGO: Don't worry, Milly! Everything's under control!
EXIT EMILIA, LEAVING IAGO ON HIS OWN. MUSIC: TOCCATA AND FUGUE IN D MINOR BY J.S. BACH.
IAGO (to the audience): Now, a piece of cloth, in certain scenarios, may turn out to be as relevant as a peace treaty... or as a declaration of war. Suppose that Cassio finds this handkerchief in his quarters. What may happen then? His Lordship's worst suspicions will be aroused, and thus, the young lieutenant will fall from grace... even deeper than he has done before. Now who dares to guess I play the villain on this stage? (cue baritone evil laugh) MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


ACT FOUR

THE COURTYARD. OTHELLO AND IAGO.
IAGO: I just have to wonder... Have you ever seen her with a silk handkerchief, spotted with strawberries?
OTHELLO: It was my wedding gift to her. Not lately...
IAGO: But... (Pause.) Haven't you seen Cassio with that handkerchief lately?
OTHELLO: Now I understand! How could I ever be that naive?! I thought her true, and, after all... She betrayed me, Iago...! She betrayed me! Chaos has come again! (He falls unconscious on the ground, then begins to twitch and toss and writhe violently, suffering from an epileptic seizure. Background music: "On The Run" by Pink Floyd.).
IAGO: Keep on that way, Your Lordship! Twitch! Toss! Writhe! How much I like to see you suffer!
ENTER CASSIO, WHO STANDS, SHOCKED, BY IAGO'S SIDE.
CASSIO (shocked, looking at Othello): Your Lordship! (To Iago.) Iago, since you have always been so helpful... why don't you do anything to save his life?
IAGO (looking concerned, to Cassio): Sorry, Lieutenant. (Shrugging his shoulders.) I have never done first aid to an epileptic before, and thus, all I can say is I don't know what the heck to do! (Pause.) But you, Lieutenant, you are an educated officer, and thus, most certainly in possession of that kind of knowledge.
CASSIO: And I thought I would never tend to an epileptic in the military... (He kneels close to Othello, places the general lying on his right side, and loosens his clothes. Then, he gets up and places himself next to Iago, whom he now addresses.) Good Iago... Will His Lordship, in exchange for such an act of kindness, ever forgive my transgression?
IAGO: Not immediately, Lieutenant. He may not have seen you loosen his clothes, and thus, he would rather trust another than you, believing that someone else saved his life. You should better keep on tending to your duties for today... Eh, Lieutenant?
CASSIO (To himself): This reminds me of something that may have occurred... My memories of that evening are still foggy, but Iago could have been there, all excited, singing and cheering... Or maybe not? That liquor is still playing tricks on me, even after being expelled... (To Iago, enthusiastic and reaching out his hand to the ensign): So off we go!
EXIT IAGO AND CASSIO, HAND IN HAND. ENTER DESDEMONA. OTHELLO COMES TO.
OTHELLO: I think I have got a fever... Could you tend to me, please? Where's the handkerchief I once gave you as a token of my love?
DESDEMONA: I haven't found it yet at all, ever since I lost it two days ago. Isn't this some evasive to stop discussing Cassio and his reinstatement?
OTHELLO: That handkerchief was enchanted. The strawberry pattern was dyed red with the hearts of maidens. It was a gift from Mother, before she left this world. If you ever lost it, you would lose my love as well. For such is the spell on the handkerchief.
DESDEMONA: Such a lovely story! But... Isn't this some evasive to stop discussing Cassio and his reinstatement?
OTHELLO: There is something more than the reinstatement... (He gets irate, then furious.) ...and you know well what I mean, you shameless whore!!! (He tackles her violently, bringing her to the ground. Then, he runs away from her.)
DESDEMONA: Maybe he's stirred, with the end of the war and all that. After all, men are from Mars, especially warriors. (She gets up, dusting her skirt and shrugging her shoulders.)
EXIT DESDEMONA. ENTER IAGO.
(Othello and Iago stand like a bride and groom before the altar. Background music: "Zadok the Priest", by Händel.)
OTHELLO: Do you agree that such a heartbreaker should no longer live to break more innocent hearts?
IAGO: I do.
OTHELLO: Do you feel capable of ending the life of Ensign Cassio within the space of these three days?
IAGO: I do.
(Othello gives Iago a nice sword and a nice plumed hat, as Iago bends the knee and kisses the general's hands.)
OTHELLO: By the power invested in me, I now pronounce you my lieutenant.
IAGO (kissing Othello's hands once more): I shall always be faithful. Never betray you. Stay true to you rather than to myself, come what may. As for Cassio, let me be his undertaker. The whore is all yours.
OTHELLO: As long as she breaks no more hearts... I don't want anyone else to share my fate... Patience, Iago, patience! Shall we use belladonna? Strychnine? Iocaine?
IAGO: No... (Pause.) Strangle her in bed.
OTHELLO (facepalming): Why didn't I think of that myself? Strangle her in the wedding bed she has stained. (He takes Iago by the hands.) That's brilliant, Iago. Only mind that you have three days to prove to me that Cassio does not live.
IAGO: That will come true... long before the third day is over.
EXIT IAGO.
CASSIO (offstage): Aaaah! My leg! Blood! Help! Help! I need somebody! Help! (A loud thud is heard.)


ACT FIVE

BEDCHAMBER AT NIGHT. DESDEMONA AND EMILIA. BACKGROUND MUSIC: SCHUBERT, AVE MARIA
EMILIA: Now men are men, and I know that they, as a group, are rather stupid. Especially married men. With a few exceptions. That change of heart won't last forever. I'm sure.
DESDEMONA: Anyway, I can't stop worrying. Maybe you're right and he will be back to normal tomorrow... or someday soon.
EMILIA: So I hope. Good night, Desdemona.
EXIT EMILIA.
DESDEMONA: Good night. (Hands folded in prayer.) Four angels around my bed,
two at my feet, two at my head.
One to watch, and one to pray,
and two to bear my soul away.
Amen. (She goes to bed and then, after a little tossing and turning, she finally falls asleep. She doesn't put out the nightlight, leaving the room still well-lit.)
ENTER OTHELLO. BACKGROUND MUSIC: HEADHUNTER, FLASH AND THE PAN
OTHELLO: Put out the nightlight. Then, put out her light. I can turn this nightlight on, but... is there a way to bring you back to life, mon amour? There isn't, obviously... How much I still love you...! No, no. You shall break no more hearts. Yet you are so beautiful... How much I will miss you! Just a last kiss before I quench your flame. (He kisses the sleeping Desdemona's lips.)
DESDEMONA (waking up): I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream...
OTHELLO (soothing): Calm down, my darling. I will not kill your soul...
DESDEMONA: What?
OTHELLO: Confess! You know well what you've done!
DESDEMONA: I swear I'm innocent and true!
OTHELLO: Then... Why was Cassio wearing that handkerchief?
DESDEMONA: I lost it... he must have found it!
OTHELLO (irritated): And I'm tired of excuses! Liar, liar, I swear you were on fire!
DESDEMONA: I swear by the Magna Carta that there was nothing between that officer and me. And he is aware as well!
OTHELLO: "That officer" has just expired. So it's no use to ask him for the truth... which you are constantly denying!
DESDEMONA (cries): Oh no... He is dead!
OTHELLO (ironic): And you still love him beyond... Then, I will reunite you two!
DESDEMONA (cries): Mercy! Mercy! Let me live until dawn!
OTHELLO (enraged): Unfaithful, dishonest... despicable snake of a whore!
DESDEMONA: Let me live just for a while! Mercy!
OTHELLO (furious): Shut the goddamn hell up!!!
(Othello strangles Desdemona in a fit of jealous rage, and then he throws her body on the mattress again).
ENTER EMILIA, WITH A WOUNDED, REELING CASSIO LEANING AGAINST HER. THE LIEUTENANT IS ALSO HOLDING A CRUTCH AND BANDAGED WITH THE HANDKERCHIEF.
EMILIA (surprised): Lord of Light...! Is she really dead? Have you...?
OTHELLO (calmly): That's for her to break no more hearts.
EMILIA: She was faithful! She was honest...!
OTHELLO: Iago told me the opposite!
EMILIA: You have been deceived, Your Lordship. Your assistant, my spouse, has devised all of this for revenge for not getting that promotion. Or for some other mysterious reason. As for your lady wife and your former lieutenant... she was innocent. And he IS innocent.
CASSIO: Emilia knows the whole truth. Iago has been playing with us, a rather nonsensical game of hitting soft spots.
OTHELLO: Cassio? Alive? And Iago... dishonest? Now what is the truth? Are we actually characters in a play which is being parodied by a cultured teenage student?
ENTER IAGO. BACKGROUND MUSIC: BEETHOVEN'S FIFTH SYMPHONY.
IAGO: This wench knows too much, and she's too extraverted. I hate to do it, but... (Pause) Adiós, Milly!
(He stabs Emilia in the back.)
(Background music switches to The Rains of Castamere.)
EMILIA: Believe me! This is the truth! Iago is the villain, Desdemona was innocent, Cassio is innocent, and we all are characters in a play... (She dies.)
OTHELLO (crying his eyes out, though not literally): My beloved lady wife! Bereft of life... How sweetly you sleep, never to awaken! What have I done, Lord of Light, what have I done? (To Cassio) Cassio, you are forgiven. And now you are the general, my heir and successor. Hope your reign takes place in interesting times. Ensure that Iago gets what he deserves. The bloodier the better. (To the audience) Speak of me as I am, nothing extenuate. Of one who loved not wisely, but too well. Stress the internal turmoil that I felt when I believed that my lady had stabbed me in the back, and give rants on the traitor whom I trusted from the start. (To Desdemona's body) My beloved lady wife! Bereft of life... How sweetly you sleep, never to awaken! What have I done, Lord of Light, what have I done? I kissed you before I killed you... so now I will kill myself and die upon a kiss! A last kiss!
(He stabs himself in the sternum with his sword, falls on the bed, and quickly dies kissing Desdemona's corpse.)
ENTER TWO GUARDS.
CASSIO (To Iago): There is no insult offensive enough to describe you! All these innocent souls have suffered and... it's your fault! You will be executed for disgracing the regiment! Though I have to admit that this has been a great story! Guards!
(The guards seize Iago and drag him away.)
IAGO: Come on! Smite me! Castrate me! Tickle me to death! I will not speak a single word!


CURTAIN FALLS

CURTAIN CALL

THE END


6 comentarios:

  1. "That frilly little upstart... of this new kind of "educated officers"... has just usurped the rank which is mine by right!" This is so frigging Verdi.

    "In the good old days, privates or non-coms became officers through good honest fighting. Nowadays an officer, for some reason, needs an education... and scarred veterans are left in the shade. Like... completely overlooked. Given non-com ranks in spite of their prowess... Yet I don't think anyone will see it coming... for I will poison their minds to break their ties, and then, once they are parted, strike them one by one in the back! If I were Othello or Cassio, I never would accept the Iago kind of fellow by my side... So I don't wear my heart upon my sleeve... The fun in the game is the fact that the cards are hidden. (Pause.) I am not what I am!" This is Shakespeare retold for the modern era.

    Again, Blackadder and Bach make a great soundtrack for this scene

    ResponderEliminar
  2. "Twas on the good ship Venus,
    by Lord, you should have seen us!
    The figurehead was a whore in bed,
    and the mast a rampant penis...
    Frigging in the rigging,
    frigging in the rigging,
    frigging in the rigging,
    there was fuck all else to do! Skål!"

    Lucky Iago didn't sing the rest of THAT song.

    "What do you do with a drunk lieutenant,
    What do you do with a drunk lieutenant,
    What do you do with a drunk lieutenant,
    early in the morning?
    Hey, hey, and up she rises!
    Hey, hey, and up she rises!
    Hey, hey, and up she rises,
    early in the morning!"

    Crazy ironic, as Theon Greyjoy would say.

    #JuanaLaIguana #NapoleonLafayette

    ResponderEliminar
  3. #JuanaLaIguana comments

    "If you think the grave's too deep and dire,
    why not take a draught of liquid fire?
    Then another, a third, make it four, make it five...
    and you'll feel more alive! Skål!"
    Again, this is Bellman, though few non-Swedes may have realized it...

    II) Thumbelina, Gilbert Gottfried (also played Iago, the macaw) as horny nightclub host/lounge lizard, sings lyric:
    "Now the room's reeling"
    In the Travesty, this comment is made...
    CASSIO (still ecstatic, now with slurred speech, reaching his shot glass to Iago): This song was the best one so far! (Pause) Iago... why is the room reeling?

    This whole play qualifies as yet another #NeuroSurge. And the room reeling is yet another of our meta-shoutouts...

    ResponderEliminar
  4. #AShiftOfDestiny #ASurgeOfPower #ROTBFTDInWesteros #RapunzelTyrell #ElsaStark #JackSnow #EugeneSand #ToothianaSand #HansFrey #AnnaStark #MeridaMormont #AstridPyke #HiccupGreyjoy #TaraNymerosMartell #ElesaTheSandSnake #RoninTarly #ToothianaSand #Sitron #ValerietheSandSnake

    ResponderEliminar
    Respuestas
    1. Just an advert for my Westeros AU trilogy. I forgot to mention Calhoun of Tarth...

      #AShiftOfDestiny #ASurgeOfPower #ROTBFTDInWesteros #RapunzelTyrell #ElsaStark #JackSnow #EugeneSand #ToothianaSand #HansFrey #AnnaStark #MeridaMormont #AstridPyke #HiccupGreyjoy #TaraNymerosMartell #ElesaTheSandSnake #RoninTarly #CalhounTarth #Sitron #ValerieTheSandSnake #FlanneryTheSandSnake (three female gym leaders cameo as sand snakes, ok, tovarish?) #NodFlowers

      Eliminar
    2. #AShiftOfDestiny #ASurgeOfPower #ROTBFTDInWesteros #RapunzelTyrell #ElsaStark #JackSnow #EugeneSand #ToothianaSand #HansFrey #AnnaStark #MeridaMormont #AstridPyke #HiccupGreyjoy #TaraNymerosMartell #ElesaTheSandSnake #RoninTarly #CalhounTarth #Sitron #ValerieTheSandSnake #FlanneryTheSandSnake (three female gym leaders cameo as sand snakes, ok, tovarish?) #NodFlowers #Toothless #Pascal #TreasureOfDragonstone

      The third part is still untitled, but it features Elsa as Night's Queen closing in on Westeros at the head of a host of wights and White Walkers... If Shift!Elsa was an unusually young authority figure under much pressure and Surge!Elsa was a runaway intoxicated with power, this Elsa is meant not to be trifled with...

      Eliminar