jueves, 27 de octubre de 2016

THE EMU WAR


EURIALO E NISO

Remember Euryalus and Nisus, the Virgilian queeromance that inspired the story of Renly Baratheon and Loras Tyrell?
Well, an Italian songwriter retold their star-crossed tale as that of two freedom fighters in WW2-era Nazi-occupied Italy. Hope you enjoy this retelling!


EURIALO E NISO

La notte era chiara, la luna un grande lume
Eurialo e Niso uscirono dal campo verso il fiume
e scesero dal monte, lo zaino sulle spalle
dovevan far saltare il ponte a Serravalle.

Eurialo era un fornaio e Niso uno studente
scapparono in montagna all'otto di settembre
i boschi già dormivano, ma un gufo li avvisava
c'era un posto di blocco in fondo a quella strada.

Eurialo fece a Niso asciugandosi la fronte
"Ci sono due tedeschi di guardia sopra al ponte."
La neve era caduta e il freddo la induriva,
ma avevan scarpe di feltro e nessuno li sentiva.

Le sentinelle erano incantate dalla luna:
fu facile sorprenderle tagliandogli la fortuna,
una di loro aveva una spilla sul mantello,
Eurialo la raccolse e se la mise sul cappello.

La spilla era d'argento, un'aquila imperiale,
brillava nella notte più di un'aurora boreale,
fu così che li videro i cani e gli aguzzini
che volevan vendicare i camerati uccisi.

Eurialo fu sorpreso in mezzo a una radura,
Niso stava nascosto spiando di paura
Eurialo circondarono coprendolo di sputo
a lungo ci giocarono come fa il gatto col topo.

Ma quando vide l'amico legato intorno al ramo
trafitto dai coltelli come un San Sebastiano
Niso dovette uscire che troppo era il furore
quattro ne fece fuori prima di cadere.

E cadde sulla neve ai piedi dell'amico
e cadde anche la luna nel bosco insanguinato
due alberi fiorirono vicino a quel cimitero:
i fiori erano rossi sbocciavano d'inverno.

La notte era chiara, la Luna un grande lume
Eurialo e Niso uscirono dal campo verso il fiume.




Here is the English translation (a formidable and exceedingly faithful singable English version):


EURYALUS AND NISUS

The bright moon like a big lamp in the sky it did quiver,
Euryalus and Nisus went downhill to the river.
They walked out of the fields shouldering their rucksacks,
they had been order’d to blow up the bridge of Serravalle. 

Euryalus was a baker, and Nisus was a student:
They had passed to the Partisans on the eighth of September
The wood was sleeping but an owl warned them of danger,
there was an armed roadblock just at the road end.

Euryalus told Nisus drying up his forehead, 
"Look at the German watches just on the bridge ahead."
The snow had fallen and the cold made it so hard,
but they had on their felt shoes, and nobody heard.

The watches weren’t moving, they looked like moonstruck:
It was easy to overtake them and cut off their good luck,
One of them had a silver pin on his soldier’s greatcoat:
Euryalus picked it up and attached it to his beret.

The pin with the imperial eagle shone so vivid and bright 
like an aurora it glitter’d in the darkness of night.
So he was easily noticed by the dogs and by the butchers
wanting to avenge the death of their comrades in arms.

Euryalus was caught in the middle of the plain,
Nisus kept well hidden for fear of being slain,
Euryalus was surrounded, at him long time they spat
playing with him like cats toying with a poor rat.

But when he saw his friend tied up to a tree branch
like St. Sebastian pierced, but with their army daggers 
Nisus jumped out and rush’d to them with all his wrath:
Four of them he did kill before they slew him dead.

He fell on the snowy ground to the feet of his friend,
so did the moon fall down on the bloodstained woodland,
Two trees then bloomed just next to the graves where they lay
their flowers were red and sprang up even in wintertime.

The bright moon like a big lamp in the sky it did quiver,
Euryalus and Nisus went downhill to the river.

TSQ-IV: DIANE CLÉMENT, 2014

Quatrième histoire

LE PRINCE
ET LA PRINCESSE

La princesse de ce pays est d'une intelligence extraordinaire. Un jour, alors qu'elle était assise sur son trône, une chanson lui trotta dans la tête.
Le refrain disait: "Pourquoi ne pas me marier aujourd'hui?"
"Et bien oui, pourquoi pas?" se dit-elle, et elle décida d'épouser un homme qui ne serait pas seulement beau mais qui saurait parler de toutes choses avec esprit. Les gens accoururent. Quelle foule! Ils parlaient tous très facilement dans la rue, mais quand ils eurent dépassé les grilles du palais, vu les gardes en uniforme brodé d'argent, les laquais en livrée d'or sur les escaliers et les grands salons illuminés, ils furent tout déconcertés, ils se tinrent devant le trône où la princesse était assise et ne surent que dire sinon répéter le dernier mot qu'elle avait prononcé.
Ni le premier, ni le second jour furent donc un succès.
Le troisième jour arriva un petit personnage sans cheval ni voiture, il monta d'un pas décidé jusqu'au château, ses yeux brillaient, il avait de beaux cheveux longs, mais ses vêtements étaient três pauvres et ses bottes craquaient terriblement.
Lorsqu'il entra par le grand portail, il vit les gardes en uniforme brodé d'argent, les laquais des escaliers vêtus d'or, il ne fut pas du tout intimidé, il s'avança jusque devant la princesse qui était assise sur une grande perle, entourée des dames de la cour et de leurs serviteurs.
Le jeune homme dit à la princesse qu'il n'était pas venu pour l'impressioner mais pour écouter sa sagesse et tout ce qu'elle-même avait à dire. Il la trouva tellement remarquable, elle le trouva très bien aussi, et ils tombèrent aussitôt amoureux l'un de l'autre.


au château...
les gardiens dans leur uniforme d'argent ne ... laisseront entrer ... au palais, mais... d'un petit escalier dérobé.
...jusqu'à une petite porte de derrière.
...il avait épousé la princesse.
...dans l'escalier où brûlait une petite lampe sur un buffet;
...voyant sur le mur les ombres de chasseurs et de cavaliers.
«Ce ne sont que des rêves. 
...dans une première salle tendue de satin rose à grandes fleurs et ... d'une salle à l'autre, les unes plus belles que les autres, et enfin... à la chambre royale, dont le plafond était semblable à un palmier aux feuilles de verre précieux. Puis, accrochés à une tige d'or, ... deux lits qui ressemblaient à des lys, un blanc et un rouge. La princesse était endormie dans le lit blanc, et, dans le rouge, on aperçut une nuque brune.
Le prince était jeune et beau, c'était un jeune et beau prince.
Lui et la princesse se réveillèrent.
«Pauvre petite!» s'exclamèrent-ils à la fin du récit.
Ils ne furent pas fâchés ... pénétrer dans le château. Ils leur proposèrent même un poste au palais...
Le prince donna son lit...


«Comme il y a des êtres humains qui sont bons!»
On vêtit alors de soie et de velours.
...à rester au château, ... Au moment de partir, un carrosse d'or pur attendait devant la porte. Le carrosse était bourré de friandises sucrés, de fruits et de pains d'épice.
«Adieu! Adieu!» criaient le prince et la princesse.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Cinquième histoire

LA PETITE FILLE
DES BRIGANDS

Le carrosse passa pour une forêt sombre où l'or brillait comme un flambeau. Des brigands qui se trouvaient là se dirent qu'ils ne pouvaient pas laisser passer un tel trésor.
«Regardez, de l'or, de l'or!» s'écrièrent-ils. Ils massacrèrent les postillons, le cocher et les valets ...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Septième histoire

DANS
LE PALAIS
DE LA REINE
DES NEIGES 

(sadly, the adaptor made no mention of the royal pair's honeymoon abroad)

Translation/adaptation: Diane Clément
Illustrator (of the original French edition; original illustrations): Yana Sedova


miércoles, 26 de octubre de 2016

UN PETIT D'UN PETIT

Un petit d'un petit
s'étonne aux Halles
Un petit d'un petit
Ah! degrés te fallent
Indolent qui ne sort cesse
indolent qui ne se mène
Qu'importe un petit
tout gay de Reguennes.

Phonetically, this French poem is pronounced just like the nursery rhyme Humpty Dumpty.

But literally it would be translated as:

A little one of a little one
is amazed at the Mall
A little one of a little one
Ah! degrees fail you
Indolent is whose luck ends
indolent is who does not control themselves
What does it matter a little one
all gay from Reguennes.

Another example of phonetic... or rather funetic (emphasis on the fun) translation would be this set of verses in Latinorum (students' butchered, affectionate Latin):



Versio I:
Caesar adsum iam forte,
Brutus aderat.
Caesar sic in omnibus,
Brutus sic in at.

Caesar had some jam for tea,
Brutus had a rat.
Caesar sick in omnibus,
Brutus sick in hat.

Versio II:
Caesar et erat forte,
Brutus et sum iam.
Caesar sic in omnibus,
Brutus sic intram.

Caesar ate a rat for tea,
Brutus ate some jam.
Caesar sick in omnibus,
Brutus sick in tram.

"LARVAE OF ALL STAGES" EXPLAINED

All right, larvae of all stages, if you may have been a tad offended by the address I have given you dear readers when I refer to you... is actually one of the quotes that shaped my childhood, a Pixar example (and Pixar does it left and right, with all those animal and object characters in their ensemble pieces!) of the trope Hold Your Hippogriffs.

Hold Your Hippogriffs explained:

The author uses a popular and/or modern phrase in a work of Speculative Fiction, and adjusts it to the setting by replacing certain concepts with their more-or-less appropriate counterparts. Works as a sort of Shout-Out to make the reader/viewer more at home in the world, while at the same time highlighting the difference; it can also be used to disguise swears. Can backfire if the adjustment comes off as too arbitrary (e.g., if the proverb refers to concepts that should exist in the speculative setting as well).
At times these are specific to an exact scene, too. The replacement concepts can be tailored to characters and current action, rather than being a common phrase of its own.

In few words, Hold Your Hippogriffs:

Verse-based (and punny) saying.

The Pixar example I have used to refer to you, larv-... I mean, dear readers, explained:

Larvae  Children of all stages!  ages!

Basically: "children" is replaced with "larvae" and "ages" with "stages" to make a bugverse pun on the conventional, clichéd show-opening address.

So it was a punny 'verse-based saying/cliché from my childhood. Take it therefore, readers, as an affectionate and tongue-in-cheek wink of a virtual eye, right? That is at least my intention since I used the expression for the first time in the opening of my "Foorth" Centennial Extended Travesty of Othello for extra whimsicality, remember? And, right in the credits, I talked about another kind of "all stages" (not of the life cycle, but of the theatre) for which curtains were provided by one (another pun, this one of my own making) PLANET OF THE DRAPES:

SPONSORED BY
RED COW, gives you wings.
HAINEKEN.
GENERAL ELECTROCUTION.
"THE RAGE OF CASTAMERE" LANNISTER FANGROUP.
KÁRPÁTIA.
RESTAURANTE ÁGORA - where to eat at Jaime I University.
HILLARY FOR PRESIDENT - and down with Trump.
GUNS & RODENTS MILITARY FICTION FANGROUP.
SIR REGINALD PIKEDEVANT, ESQUIRE.
PLANET OF THE DRAPES, curtains for all stages.


[···]

UP WITH THE CURTAIN!

PRELUDE
SCENE 1: THE DOCKS NEAR THE OUTPOST. IAGO AND RODERIGO STAGE LEFT, SANDRA STAGE RIGHT.
SANDRA (dramatically, addressing the audience): Mesdames et messieurs! Mina damer och herrar! Hölgyeim és uraim! Larvae of all stages! Today is a wonderful day, and why?
[Three verses in pentameter ensue]
Well, let me tell you and stop this fricking pentameter. This is not the time or place for pentameter. Ok, three, two, one, fire!
Mesdames et messieurs! Mina damer och herrar! Hölgyeim és uraim! Larvae of all stages! Today we are going FOURTH! Because it happens to be EL CUARTO CENTENARIO, THE FOURTH CENTENNIAL!!! Four hundred years ago, two of the greatest literary minds of all times left the grand stage of the world, never to return, into uncharted lands. They had led parallel lives at the same time and both of them had made literary history.

[Later on, I give the first lines of my own English translation of Chapter One of Don Quixote and subsequently praise the Bard of Avon by punning on Mercutio's last words as: "A plaque on all his houses!"]

HÄR KOMMER SNOPPEN I FULL GALOPP

Larvae of all stages, ( Larvae  Children of all stages!  ages! from the Betty Ford Centre in L.A., California... we go right back to Sweden and to the viral sex-ed video that shows kawaii willies and twinkles dancing to a catchy tune with sex ed lyrics. PS. The singer is Scanian, as can be heard from his French Rs (rhotacism is the international, scientific word for this phonetic realization):



KICKIN' IT

This post is a sequel to "Stop the Planet of the Apes", which I published earlier this month.
In said post, I broke the ice with the following intro:

I just said to myself one day not long ago... "I have to post the lyrics to this musical theatre parody (the first of its kind in The Simpsons, followed by Kickin' It and King of the Cats) for any dear Rambles readers who want to do at least an audio version of this impressive show:

Well, larvae of all stages, here is Kickin' It, also known to me by its Castilian title Desintoxicarse. Set in 1990s Los Angeles, the plot focuses on the rehabilitation of a young drug-addicted media star. Idem eadem idem as for Stop the Planet of the Apes: any of you can at least record the audio version if you remember the tunes (if not, there is always YouTube).




KICKIN' IT

A MUSICAL JOURNEY THROUGH THE BETTY FORD CENTRE



SCENE THE FIRST: A COURTROOM

Judge:
How do you find the defendant?
Female Juror:
He's guilty of mayhem, exposure indecent...
First Male Juror:
Freaked-out behavior both chronic and recent...
Ensemble (Jury):
Drinking and driving, narcotics posession...
Second Male Juror:
And that's just page one of this ten-page confession.
Judge:
I should put you away where you can't kill or maim us,
but this is L.A. and you're rich and fa-a-a-amous...


SCENE THE SECOND: THE BETTY FORD CENTRE
Drug Addict:
I'm checkin' in!
Ensemble (Betty Ford Staff):
He's checkin' in.
Drug Addict:
I'm checkin' in!
Ensemble (Betty Ford Staff):
Checkin', checkin' in.
Drug Addict:
No more pills or alcohol,
no more pot or demerol,
no more stinkin' fun at all!
(Pause.)
I'm checkin' in!
Ensemble (Betty Ford Staff and Patients):
He's checkin' in.
He's checkin' in.
Male Nurse I:
No more lookin' pale and thin...
Male Nurse II:
No more bugs beneath your skin...
Drug Addict:
Hey, that's just my aspirin!
Ensemble (Betty Ford Staff):
Chuck it out!
Ensemble (Betty Ford Staff and Patients):
You're checki-i-i-in' i-in!



And now, FYI: The musical number, in real life (outside the show, on our side of the fourth wall), won both an Annie award for Outstanding Individual Achievement for Music in an Animated Television Production and an Emmy award for Outstanding Individual Achievement in Music and Lyrics in 1998.

LE CHEVALIER ET LA DAMOISELLE

(This is my own translation; not directly from the French original, but from the Catalan and Castilian)


Marie Diaz

(La Reine des Neiges)

QUATRIÈME HISTOIRE


Le Chevalier et la Damoiselle



Miss Clara's illustration of the damsel (la Damoiselle) in Marie Diaz's retelling.
The author made her a daughter of the landed gentry because she dislikes the baroque style.
She appears poised and mature, learned on account of the books, globe, and spectacles,
and dark-haired to appear mature as well. A truly beautiful figurine in an equally beautiful diorama.

In the heart of this shire, there is a wooden fortress, where the menu is most exquisite! In the highest story of the fortress, in the tower of the keep, there lives a damsel: she is charming, and so clever that she's read all the books in the world, but she was bored to death and she didn't even have a single friend. She's so learned that no one knew what to say to her in conversation. Thus, the damsel decided to wed the first man who would talk to her about something else than her beauty.
Her parents, the lord and lady of the shire, organized an audience for all the young men in the land. The best eligible bachelors presented themselves, even woodcutters and farmers, since everyone would have a chance.
The dashing suitors crowded the staircase, cheerfully talking to each other. They spoke eloquently, yet none of them passed the test. Upon entering the damsel's bedchamber, as they saw her before her rows of ornate picture books, the young men were seized by some kind of trance: they turned pale, they stuttered, and they could hardly recitate a single poem in praise of the damsel's fair visage, or of her beautiful complexion.
On the third day in the evening, a young knight without entourage or carriage presented himself, and he marched confidently up the staircase: he kept his hair long, and his eyes sparkled. He was carrying a knapsack...
The stranger passed beneath the brocades and the golden dragons of the great hall without even flinching; he saluted, with a smile, the lord and his vassals with their shining swords; and then, he greeted the lady and her maids, who were looking with scorn at his torn garments. His boots creaked and clinked in the silent room...
He passed before the armed and breastplated guards, and he finally arrived in the presence of the damsel, who was reading, sitting by the music stand she used to hold her books: she was reading a thousand-page book, as eagerly as if she were relishing the most delicious among desserts. She was so tired of listening to so much foolishness in a row that she didn't hear him come, nor notice that he had arrived.
All those who have seen the damsel dream of wedding her!
The strangest thing by far was that the young knight hadn't come to court her: he only felt curious about her knowledge. He asked her a question in some unknown foreign language, and the damsel replied immediately, looking rather pleased. That overjoyed her. She liked the knight so much, and he liked the damsel as well! She was overjoyed with him, and he was overjoyed with her too!
The fortress, which towered in the middle of the heath, was surrounded by a high palisade. Beyond the fence, the streets were deserted that night. In the tavern, the suitors that the damsel had scorned were drowning their sorrows in tankards of hot chocolate.
The bedchamber was sumptous: there were two wooden beds with golden carvings, covered in velvet brocade. Under the white canopy slept the damsel, and under the crimson one slept the knight. The young man was dashing.
In the stables, there were the best steeds, brought over from all corners of the world. 

Later on, when autumn had given way to winter and winter had changed into spring, the knight and the damsel took a trip abroad. They loved to speak Pig Latin.

................................................................................................................................

EASTER EGG #EasterEgg: Interview with Marie Diaz, in which she explains the setting change!

...dans la forteresse de la Damoiselle… qui était à l’origine un palais baroque, dégoulinant de stucs, avec Prince et Princesses en dentelles ! 
J’ai du mal avec l’imagerie précieuse du XVII ou XVIII° siècle, (…sauf lorsque c’est Miss Clara qui l’illustre!) et j’ai une allergie au mot prince (sauf s’il est associé à ‘noir’, mais ceci est une autre histoire.) Le côté rugueux, organique, de l’imagerie médiévale me parle davantage : aussi Chevalier, Damoiselle et forteresse de bois sur la lande se sont-ils imposés d’eux-mêmes, en hommage spontané au Rohan de Tolkien, aux récits des cycles Arthuriens et aux peintures romantiques des Préraphaélites. Un peuple de cavaliers m’arrangeait bien pour la présence du Renne, même s’il est une monture insolite, car j’avais aussi supprimé le carrosse - trop connoté ‘grand siècle’ à mon goût. Je voulais une chevauchée plus rude et épique.

KATE PINKERTON: LACOMBE STYLE

The "another woman" in Puccini's geisha opera had been a non-entity to me... until Benjamin Lacombe reimagined her, from her lieutenant husband's first-person POV, as an extraverted and fiery suffragette. Now I understand why he married her, and I put this character on my personal list of badasses!

(PS. The English translation below is my own)


KATE PINKERTON: LACOMBE STYLE


...ma douce Kate, ma vraie femme, ma femme...
Kate était libre, rieuse, franche, avisée. Je l'avais rencontrée alors qu'elle militait devant le Parlement pour le droit de vote des femmes. Elle tenait sa petite pancarte à la main avec une dizaine d'autres militantes en jupons, et me regardait d'un air frondeur. J'en étais tombé immédiatement amoureux.
Le droit de vote des femmes!

--Le lieutenant Pinkerton n'est pas seul. Il est accompagné de sa femme, lady Kate Pinkerton.

Kate réagit avec la sensibilité d'une femme, comprenant la peine...

--Je suis l'innocente cause de votre malheur. Pardonnez-moi! supplia Kate, au bord des larmes.

--¿Pourrez-vous me pardonner? demanda Kate, la voix temblante.
«Sous la grande arche du ciel, il n'existe pas de femme plus heureuse que vous. Restez-le toujours.


.....................................................................................................


...my sweet Kate, my true wife, my wife...
Kate was free, cheerful, outspoken, clever. I had met her for the first time when she was demonstrating outside Congress for women's right to vote. She was holding her little banner in hand, with ten or so other suffragettes in petticoats, and she was looking at me with that rebellious air of hers. I instantly fell head over heels in love with her.
Women's right to vote!

--Lieutenant Pinkerton is not alone. He is accompanied by his wife, Lady Kate Pinkerton.

Kate reacted with a true lady's sensibility and sensitivity, understanding the sorrow...

"I am the innocent cause of your misfortune. Pardon me!" Kate pleaded half in tears.
"May you pardon me?" asked Kate with a tremulous voice.
"Under the great arch of the heavens, there is no woman more fortunate than you. May you thus be forever."

domingo, 23 de octubre de 2016

STOP THE PLANET OF THE APES

STOP THE PLANET OF THE APES
(I WANT TO GET OFF!)

(Starring Troy MacClure)


I just said to myself one day not long ago... "I have to post the lyrics to this musical theatre parody (the first of its kind in The Simpsons, followed by Kickin' It and King of the Cats) for any dear Rambles readers who want to do at least an audio version of this impressive show:


ACT THE FIRST
Gorilla 1:
Help, the human's about to escape!
Troy:
Get your paws off me, you dirty ape!
Gorilla 2:
(gasps) He can talk!
Orangutans:
He can talk! He can talk!
He can talk! He can talk!
He can talk! He can talk!
Troy:
I can siiii-iii-iii-iiing!
Chimp Nurse:
Ooh, help me, Dr. Zaius!
Orangutans:
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Oh, Dr. Zaius!
Orangutan 1:
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Troy:
What's wrong with me?
Dr. Zaius:
I think you're crazy!
Troy:
Want a second opinion!
Dr. Zaius:
You're also lazy!
Orangutans:
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Oh, Dr. Zaius!
Orangutan 1:
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Troy:
Can I play the piano 
anymore?
Dr. Zaius:
Of course you can!
Troy:
Well, I couldn't before!
(plays the piano)
Orangutans:
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Oh, Dr. Zaius!
Orangutan 1:
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Orangutans:
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Oh, Dr. Zaius!

ACT THE SECOND
Troy:
I hate every ape I see
From chimpan-ay to chimpan-zee...
No, you'll never make a monkey out of me.

(PAUSE.)
Oh, my gods, I was wrong:
It was Earth all along.
You finally made a monkey...
Orangutan 1:
Yes we finally made a monkey...
Troy and Apes:
Yes, you finally made a monkey out of me!
Troy:
I love you, Dr. Zaius!
(CURTAIN FALLS)